Fire and Starlight
by Rachel Hawkins
Summary: A series of missing/extended scenes from The Desolation of Smaug. Chapter Four: After a botched escape attempt during the spider attack in Mirkwood, Kili tries to persuade Tauriel not to take him to the dungeons. All chapters are Tauriel/Kili, with bits of Legolas and Tauriel/Fili friendship.
1. Thranduil's Dungeon

Tauriel left Thranduil's chamber, her spine straight and her dignity held in a rigid fist. She had known all along that she would never be seen as good enough to stand at Legolas's side anywhere but on the battlefield, but to hear Thranduil say as much in that cold, remote tone of his sliced at her. Wounds she'd thought were long closed threatened to reopen with a mere touch.

She was used to being alone. It had been many years, almost longer than she could remember, since her family had been taken from her in a tragedy that was still spoken of in dark corners when nobody thought she could hear. Since then, she had fought and clawed her way to respectability as a captain of Thranduil's guard. Along the way she'd grown close to Legolas, in the way that warriors who shared battles often did. But carefully, so carefully hidden was the lingering possibility that the camaraderie of battle could develop into something more personal, more intimate. Legolas was strong, brave...and as untouchable as the Lonely Mountain the captive dwarves were so intent on reaching.

She went outside but kept herself hidden, in a dark corner full of shadows, and watched as preparations for the feast neared completion. She was not in a celebratory mood tonight. She felt alone, apart, yearning for a connection that was always just out of her reach. She looked up at the starlight shining down on the celebrants. What did it say of her, that lately she'd begun to feel more at home battling spiders and Orcs than she did bathed in the sacred light of her people?

"You're not usually one to hide in the shadows."

Tauriel took a breath before she turned to watch Legolas approach her. Thranduil's words echoed in her head. "It doesn't feel like a time for celebration," she said. "It feels like we're standing on the edge of something dangerous, something that will change us all forever."

"All this because of the dwarves?" Legolas asked.

"The dwarves and their quest are only part of it," she said with a shake of her head. "It's the spiders, and the way they keep returning to Mirkwood. The king will not allow us to hunt them to their source at Dol Guldur. It's not going to stop unless we do."

"We will keep killing them until they find somewhere else to spawn. We will protect our lands as we always have. Do not doubt that, Tauriel."

"I don't," she assured him, and she didn't. The elves of Mirkwood would always protect what was theirs. But as she had begun to see it, that was part of the problem. "Go," she said. "Don't let me dampen your mood. Join the celebration. I'll be along shortly." She smiled in reassurance and slipped back inside before he could respond. She didn't see Legolas staring after her, a pensive expression on his face.

And some time later, proving just how turned around her mind was, she missed Legolas again, watching her from above as she sat listening to Kili speak of fire moons. She wasn't sure exactly what had drawn her back to the dungeons, and to Kili's cell in particular. It was almost as though an invisible hand had drawn her down here against her will. At least it had been against her will at first. Now she was not so sure.

She had made a show of observing all of the dwarves when she arrived in the dungeons, but she had ended up here, sharing more of herself than she had in a very long time.

"I wish I had been there. I've never seen one," she said to Kili.

"They're very rare, or so I'm told," he said. "I don't think I'll ever see another one in my lifetime. You might, however, if it's true what they say about the life spans of elves. Is it? How old are you, anyway?"

She shot him a sideways look, trying hard to keep her lips from twitching. "I think your mother was right," she said. "I think you are reckless."

And she liked that, she thought. A touch of recklessness to go along with the bravery she sensed in him. She glanced at him again, thinking that she was standing at the beginning of her own reckless path. He wasn't any more reachable to her than Legolas was. Was that why she had come here? Had she been drawn to him on a level more personal than prisoner and guard? If so, she was a fool, and even more alone than she had thought herself.

"You didn't answer my question," Kili said. "I think you are either very old, or very young."

She was young, as far as the life of the average elf went, but she didn't have to tell him that.

"How old are you?" she countered.

"I am the youngest of my company," he answered easily enough, a tilt to his mouth the charmed her against her will. This was a dangerous man, she thought. He presented more risk to her than all the spiders of Mirkwood. She stood up suddenly. She could not afford to forget who she was and what her duties were. She could not let herself be charmed by this man. If Thranduil thought she was becoming soft toward him, it could spell disaster, for both of them.

"Leaving so soon?" Kili said to her back, and her foot paused in the midst of the step she'd been about to take. "You still haven't answered my question."

She turned back to him. "There are days when I feel very, very old," she found herself saying. "There are days when even the sacred starlight struggles to remind me of my purpose."

"What is your purpose?"

"You cannot help yourself, can you? Always more questions." She shook her head. "My purpose is to do as my king commands and protect this land from any threat that comes near, to help keep my people safe."

"We are no threat to your people, my company and I," Kili said. "You have this forest. You have your homeland. All we want is ours."

She thought she understood him, and it made her sad for both of them. For all of the dwarves that were trying to find their home. "All most people want is to belong somewhere," she said quietly, more to herself than anything. "You are lucky, you know."

"It doesn't feel lucky standing on this side of the bars."

She tipped her head down, turning to hide the twitch of her lips she could no longer contain. It was hard to remain dour in the midst of Kili's impish charm. "Whatever trouble you face, I think these men are your family."

"My brother is right over there," he confirmed, gesturing. He smiled. "He thinks I'm reckless as well."

"That should tell you something." She sat down again, unconsciously leaning closer to him. "Always stand by them and protect them, and they will do the same for you."

"What about your family?" he asked. "Where are they?"

She closed her eyes. "My family lives in the starlight." Her fingers suddenly itched to reach out for him, to feel a physical connection to someone else. But she had no right. She didn't know him, and besides, he was Thranduil's prisoner. She shouldn't even be talking to him like this. But it was so easy, she thought. So easy to fall prey to his charm and let herself imagine things that were impossible. To feel that she wasn't quite so alone.

She stood and forced herself to smile down at him. "The next time you find yourself standing beneath a cloudless sky, do not think of the starlight as cold. Bathe yourself in the memories it holds for you, and forge new ones to give it in return."

"Does that mean we are not going to die in these cells?"

Her heart rejected the thought of him dying alone in a gloomy cell. It wasn't right, but she knew of no way to stop it should that be Thranduil's wish. "What purpose would there be in that?" was all she said.

"What purpose is there in keeping us here in the first place?" Kili asked.

She had no answer for him. Thranduil's motives were often opaque to her. "Remember the starlight," she said, and walked away before she could get herself or her heart in any more trouble.


	2. Healing Kili

"_Do you think she could have loved me?"_

Tauriel stared down at Kili, her heart pounding in her chest. Her fingers brushed his, curled around them and clung for a moment. He was half-delirious still; coming back from the brink of death took time. He didn't think she was real, didn't realize she was actually standing right beside him. And because of his delirium he couldn't see the way his words shot through her like an arrow.

"Any woman would be privileged to stand by your side," she murmured. A lump in her throat caused her to swallow hard. She turned away, the sheer injustice of the situation making her want to scream. Here was this man, a good man, she thought, who didn't realize he had just asked her if she could have loved him. It was a thought she had tried desperately to quash in the short time since she'd met him. It was a dangerous thought in part because it was so tantalizing. Here was a man who was real, who it was now obvious felt something for her, and there was no cold, remote king warning her away from him.

But the obstacles that did stand in their way were perhaps just as insurmountable. They were different people from different worlds. When he was able, she knew he would rejoin his fellow dwarves in their quest to reclaim their homeland. And she would return to Mirkwood, if Thranduil would have her. When, she wondered, would their paths ever cross again? How could you love someone you never had a chance to see, to touch? The love would either drift away to be claimed by the starlight, or it would claw at a person until they went mad. How could anyone live like that?

His fingers brushed hers again. "Tauriel…" he whispered.

She turned back to him, but his eyes were closed, his body still. His eyelids fluttered, so she reached up and brushed her knuckles gently across his brow. "Rest," she said. "Rest and regain your strength."

She left him lying as he was and stepped out onto the rickety balcony outside Bard's home. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply of the cool night air. Kili would live…she hoped. She had done everything in her power to stop the poison spreading slowly through his veins. The athelas has been essential; she didn't think she could have saved him without it. And the thought of not being able to save him terrified her.

Could she have loved him? She thought she could have, and could still. Why else would she have risked everything to save him? She had almost assured the wrath of Thranduil with her actions, and Legolas...she had left him out there, fighting the Orcs on his own. Exactly what he had told her she could not do. She had betrayed Legolas in order to save Kili's life. She didn't think noble intentions would matter in the end. She had left the sanctuary of the halls at Mirkwood, knowing that Legolas would follow her into the wilds, risking his own standing with his father. And even if he was the best fighter she'd ever seen, he was still out there, alone. Because of her.

The sudden sound of a footstep had her whirling, reaching for her daggers...which she had left inside. Her heart thundered, but calmed just as quickly when she saw not an Orc, not a threat, but one of the other dwarves from inside. It was the young, pale-haired dwarf with braids in his beard. _Fili_, she thought after a moment.

"Is my brother going to live?" he asked.

"You're brothers," she repeated dumbly, struggling to get her rioting emotions under control.

He stepped out of the doorway and onto the walkway, nimbly avoiding a stretch of wood damaged by the Orcs. "I've been looking out for him his whole life. This is the closest I've ever come to losing him. So tell me, is he going to live?"

She looked down at him. "If he has a chance to rest, there is no reason why he shouldn't heal."

"Then we will see that he rests." He turned to fully face her, his head held high. "I owe you a debt. We all owe you a debt, for saving Kili's life."

"You owe me nothing." She gripped the rough wood of the railing in front of her. "I made the choice to come here. I made the choice to help heal Kili's wounds."

"You don't sound happy about that," Fili said. "You sound like you wish you'd made a different choice."

"That is not what I meant. I…" She shook her head and sighed, looking up at the star-speckled sky. She felt no warmth from the sacred light tonight. "We're all at war, in one form or another. With our enemies, our friends. Even ourselves. I don't regret coming here and helping your brother. But I did it without King Thranduil's permission, and when I return to Mirkwood, there is every chance it will be to occupy Kili's former cell."

"He would punish you for saving a life?"

"He would punish defiance. But it's not Thranduil I'm worried about right now. Legolas was only here tonight because of me. I owe him my loyalty, and I left him out there to fight the Orcs alone."

Since Fili was not overly fond of the elf prince Legolas, he sought a change of subject, something to lighten the mood. "Kili shot me in the foot with an arrow once."

She swung her head around. "What?"

"It was a long time ago, when he was first learning to use a bow. I was practicing with a sword at the time, paying no attention to where he was aiming."

"He actually aimed for your foot?"

Fili chuckled. "No. He was aiming for a tree three feet up and to his left."

Tauriel laughed, and it felt wonderful and alien at the same time. She could picture the scene easily, a younger but still impish and charming Kili glibly apologizing as his brother hopped around on one foot. "I imagine that sort of thing happened fairly often when he was young."

"He never shot anyone again, mostly because nobody would stand anywhere near him when he was practicing, but he got into his fair share of mischief. He still does sometimes; the only difference is that he's much more skilled with a bow."

Tauriel's laugh dwindled into a silent chuckle, but she held onto it for as long as she could, savoring the lightness and ease of the moment. Such moments had been too few of late.

"Can I ask you something?" Fili said.

"Yes," she said, giving him her attention again. She liked him, she thought. She admired his obvious loyalty to his brother, and that he wasn't afraid to talk to her as an equal. She felt a growing companionship toward all of the dwarves she had once helped imprison.

"Inside," Fili said, "After you healed him, Kili didn't seem to know you were really there."

"No," she agreed. "The poison from a Morgul arrow can be excruciating. By the time it was over, he was exhausted and delirious."

"Right. But if he hadn't been, if he had realized you were there and what he was saying and asking, would you have answered him the same way?"

Tauriel was quiet a moment. The question answered one of hers, whether or not the others inside had heard what Kili was saying as she wrapped his wound. "Yes," she said quietly, meeting Fili's eyes. "I would have."

He nodded, as if a debate had suddenly been settled in his head, but before he could say anything, Bofur stuck his head out the door. "He's waking up."

"Too stubborn to rest, I suppose," Fili said with a shrug, and went inside.

Tauriel lingered outside the doorway, inexplicably nervous to go back inside.

"Kili, stay where you are," Fili said. "Don't undo all the work that's been done to help you."

"I dreamed…" she heard him say, his voice still groggy but clearer than it had been. "I dreamed Tauriel was here. She was surrounded by light and she took the pain away."

"You didn't dream it. She was here, and is still. She came with Legolas, and after they fought off the Orcs, she stayed to heal you."

"Where is she?" Sounds of a struggle could be heard from inside the door. "Where is she?"

"Here," she said, stepping into the doorway so he could see her. He had raised himself to a half-sitting position on the table, but he was too weak yet to shake the holds of the other dwarves. He went still when he saw her, their eyes connecting and holding across the space of the room.

"Tauriel," he murmured.

"I believe you've been told, more than once, to lie still," she said, coming to stand next to the table.

"Since when do I do as I'm asked?" he wondered with a ghost of the smile she was growing so fond of.

"Almost never," Fili said, and then he and the other dwarves quietly drifted away from the table as Kili finally subsided. Tauriel looked down at him. His hand reached out for hers, and she slipped her fingers around his. "I thought I would never see you again. I thought the last image I would ever have of you was a pack of Orcs trying to take off your head."

"They failed," she said, absently stroking her thumb over his knuckles.

"Why did you come back?" Kili asked.

"I was hunting the Orcs that survived the battle by the river. It felt wrong to leave them roaming our lands, causing destruction wherever they went. And…" She trailed off, unsure how to express what she was feeling. She'd never felt the like before. She'd thought she had once, for Legolas. Now she knew differently. The affection she felt for Legolas was something else. What she was beginning to feel for Kili was entirely new. It was frightening and exhilarating all at once. She knew to reach for it could mean the end of her standing with Thranduil. But how could she not? How could she let something so rare and precious slip through her fingers? There had to be a way to forge something real with him.

"And what?" Kili urged.

She gazed at him. "After your friends floated down the river, we captured one of the Orcs. It told us that you had been shot with a Morgul arrow. Morgul poison is always deadly if not caught in time. Thranduil was willing to suffer your loss. I was not. I hunted the Orcs hoping they would lead me to you."

"And they did." He smiled. "I should thank you for saving my life, and for risking so much to do so."

Tauriel turned and accepted a chair from Bard's eldest daughter, who turned away with a smile and left them in peace again. Tauriel sat down near the head of the table. It put her more on a level with Kili, and thus felt more intimate than standing over him. "At some point," she said, "we all have to decide what we stand for. What Thranduil does after this is his choice. I made my choice, and I would make it again. I could not let you die, no matter the cost."

Kili reached out and brushed his knuckles across her cheek. She closed her eyes. The simple contact made her heart ache. She reached up and closed her hand over his. "I was so frightened," she whispered. "When I saw how close to death you were, I thought I was too late." She turned her head and kissed his hand. Her eyes she kept tightly closed, for she was afraid if she opened them now, helpless tears would fall. Still her hands trembled, and she had to breathe deeply in an effort to calm herself.

"Are you going to cry over my non-death?" Kili asked impishly.

She chuckled softly, taking a deep breath as she opened her eyes to look at him. "You and your questions."

"I think you don't mind my questions as much as you let on," he said. "On a more serious note, I think I've come up with a way to thank you for helping me."

"Have you now?" she wondered, not trusting that he was being serious at all. It seemed not even nearly dying could kill his spirit.

He nodded. "Lean closer and I'll tell you. I don't want any of the others to hear this."

Her lips twitched, and her heart sped up a little as she leaned in. "So tell me," she whispered.

He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her down until her lips met his. They both stilled, the first moment of the kiss holding them in thrall. It was as though the rest of the world vanished in an instant, leaving only the two of them in an endless moment of surprisingly sweet intimacy. She cradled his face in her hand. His lips were soft yet firm as they molded to hers, the rough texture of his beard gently abrading her palm. Distantly she felt his fingers leave her neck to stroke through her hair.

They pulled back just enough so they could breathe but kept their faces close together. "I've been wanting to do that since the first moment I saw you," he said.

"We didn't exactly have the friendliest of introductions."

"And yet somehow, here we are." He leaned up for another quick brush of his lips against hers. "When this is over, I want to walk in the starlight with you."

"All right," she agreed. "We'll walk in starlight later, if you promise to rest right now."

He pulled the rune stone he still carried out of his pocket and held it up so she could see it. "I will rest now, if you promise to be here when I return."

She covered his hand with hers. "I promise."


	3. The River Escape

**Author's note**: This chapter jumps back in the timeline to the dwarves' escape from Mirkwood, so it fits chronologically between chapter 1 and chapter 2.

Tauriel stood with her knife to the neck of the Orc scum. There was little she wanted more than to press the blade deep, but Legolas had stayed her hand.

They led the Orc back to the river gate, where they were joined by several other of Thranduil's guard. Tauriel looked around at the remnants of battle as Legolas instructed some of the others to begin gathering up the bodies of their dead, as well as disposing of the Orcs.

Her eyes were drawn to the lever that controlled the gate. It was the last place she had seen Kili. He had fallen to the ground, shouting in pain as an arrow pierced his thigh. After that, she had become too immersed in fighting the Orcs to keep track of him. Her jaw tightened. The dwarf had managed, in a very short time, to sneak through her defenses, so that the thought of him being injured bothered her a great deal.

She frowned suddenly. Were there marks on the ground there? Had Kili dragged himself backward, instead of toward the edge where he could have dropped into one of the barrels and made his escape with the others? She thought back, but couldn't remember seeing him floating down the river.

"Tauriel."

She looked up to see Legolas watching her. "Are you coming?" he asked. "We're taking the Orc to my father. He will have a lot of questions."

"Go on ahead without me. I want to check the forest to be sure no Orcs linger."

"We can assign others to that task."

"I am the captain of the guard. I can handle it."

He watched her for a long moment. If he suspected at all that she had an ulterior motive, he kept it to himself. He knew as well as she did that arguing in front of the other elves would not leave a good impression. "All right," he said finally. "I will see you back in the halls." He gestured to the others, who herded the surly Orc back toward the main gates.

Tauriel climbed up to the lever and looked closer at the ground. Yes, she definitely saw signs someone had been dragged—or had dragged themselves—away.

She quickened her pace, tracking the marks she believed belonged to Kili into the trees that ran along the riverbank. She saw a few droplets of blood on the ground, which quickened her steps and her heartbeat. She dashed through the trees, having no trouble tracking Kili's movements. And after only a few short minutes, she could not only see signs of his passage, but hear him up ahead.

But she could also hear something else. An Orc.

She drew her blades and moved ahead with caution. She could see the Orc just ahead, could smell the stench of it in the air. She closed in on it, and when she saw the Orc aim its bow at Kili, she used a burst of speed to catch up and shouted to draw its attention to her.

The thing snarled and growled, but before it could aim its bow at her, she leaped for it and drove a blade into its skull. It collapsed with a howl and died.

Tauriel looked up and saw Kili ahead. He stumbled, falling awkwardly against a nearby tree in order to stay upright. She approached him slowly.

He looked up at her approach, his face strained but determined. "If you think I'm going back to the dungeons, you're going to have to drag me. I'm returning to my kin."

Drag him back was exactly what she should do. It was what Thranduil would expect of her. It was what Legolas would expect of her, and what she should expect of herself. She'd never before questioned her duties or where her loyalties lie. But looking at Kili she found herself frozen. A storm of conflicts swirled through her mind.

Taking him back would keep her in Thranduil's good graces, and it would also mean she would have a chance to see him again. Selfishly, she wanted that. There was some indefinable connection between them, and she was reluctant to let it go. She had forged very few connections that were real, and Kili was real. She barely knew him, but she knew that much.

She watched him stagger from tree to tree, one hand clutched to his thigh. She looked back in the direction she'd come. The war raged in her mind.

It was finally decided when he stumbled again and fell to his knees. She watched him stagger back to his feet. "Stop," she called, jogging to catch up to him. She propped her bow against a nearby tree and reached for him. He jerked away, and she glared at him. "Stop, all right? Just stop."

She grabbed the bottom of his tunic and ripped it. She tore a long strip and knelt in front of him. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm binding your wound. Every step you take without doing so only makes it worse." She wrapped the strip of torn fabric around his thigh and pulled it tight. He grunted in pain, but otherwise held still while she completed the task.

"Why are you helping me?" he asked.

She looked up and found him watching her, the strain on his face mixed with curiosity. She had surprised him. "I don't know," she said, looking away to finish the bandage before standing back up. She reached for his wrist and pulled his arm up across her back. She clutched his hand to her shoulder. "If you're going to have any chance of catching your friends, we need to hurry."

Not to mention if she was going to have any chance of returning to the halls of Mirkwood quick enough to keep from raising Thranduil's suspicion, she needed to get him moving quickly.

For just an instant she closed her eyes and savored the press of his body against her side. But just as quickly she snapped back to reality. He was hurt, and there was no time for savoring, no time for dreaming now. She grabbed her bow with her free hand and started moving at a fast walk, as close to a run as they could manage. The difference in height and his injured leg made it hard to match their gaits. She steered them to the edge of the forest, so she could look through the trees and watch the river as they moved.

"I think you do know why you're helping me," Kili said. "You're helping because you don't believe your king should have imprisoned us in the first place."

"It is not that simple," she said.

"Then why?" he pressed.

Tauriel shook her head. She didn't know the entirety of Thranduil's history with the dwarves, or what grudges he might hold against Thorin Oakenshield in particular. She knew well, however, that elves and dwarves had been mistrustful of each other, sometimes even to the point of being enemies, for a very long time. Had he intended to leave the dwarves locked in the dungeons forever, as reparation for some long-ago slight?

When she made herself consider it, part of the reason was indeed that she thought the continued imprisonment of the dwarves felt wrong. But to defy Thranduil openly and ask for their release would do no good. There was however, more to it for her. The quiet conversation she'd shared with Kili in the dungeon had shifted something inside her. Seeing him injured in the midst of an Orc attack had solidified the change. She was not who she'd been only a day ago. The question now was, who was she going to become?

"I know what it is to be lost and alone," she murmured. "To be hurt and have nowhere to turn. You won't make it back to your friends on your own."

"Why were you lost? Who hurt you?"

"It was long ago," she said.

"Why not—"

"Quiet," she said suddenly, freezing in her tracks. Kili leaned heavily against her, his chest heaving. She looked in every direction, her eyes sharp, her hearing attuned to the sounds of the forest and river she knew so well. There had been another sound, a foreign sound, but it was gone now.

How long until it returned?

"We need to go now, and we need to go quickly," she said. "It is going to hurt."

Kili gritted his teeth and nodded, attuned to her sudden tenseness. "Do it."

She shifted him to her other side so his injured leg was against her. She carried as much of his weight as she could and took off at a run. He couldn't contain several quiet grunts of pain, but he made no complaint. Tauriel could feel them behind her now. She didn't know how many, but she had fought enough Orcs to know when they were nearby.

Tauriel and Kili burst out of the trees and onto the banks of the river, where she saw exactly what she'd been hoping to see. An empty oaken barrel, bobbing in the shallows. "Come on," she said, guiding him down the rocky embankment. Her free arm wrapped around his back and gripped his waist. He leaned heavily against her, his bad leg struggling to hold his weight. He would have fallen had she not had a steady grip on him.

She let him go when they reached the barrel. Luckily, there wasn't much water left in it. "Get in," she said. "I don't know how far down the river your friends are. This is your only chance to catch up."

He looked at her for a long moment before he nodded. He gritted his teeth as he climbed in. Tauriel tipped the barrel upright. She started to guide it out into the river. Kili gripped her hand where it rested on the edge of the barrel. She looked up at him and their gazes held. No words were spoken. It was a moment out of time, a connection with no bars between them. Exquisite and excruciating at once. Tauriel swallowed, her throat suddenly tight.

She pushed the barrel until she was knee-deep in the rushing river and could go no further without the risk of being swept downstream. "Good luck," she said.

He nodded, and then his eyes suddenly went wide. "Tauriel, behind you!"

She whirled around and saw three Orcs rush out of the trees. Two of them aimed bows, while the other carried a long axe. Tauriel shoved Kili's barrel into the rush of the river and raised her bow in a single fluid motion. She hit one of the Orcs as she slogged back to the shore. Another swung its axe at her, and she had to bend back nearly double in order to keep her head attached.

Meanwhile Kili's barrel had caught the rapids, twisting and turning on the raging waters as he was swept away from her.

...

"He is my brother," Fili argued. We cannot leave him behind."

"We don't have any more time to wait," Thorin said implacably. "We must go now if we are to have any hope of reaching the mountain in time."

Before Fili could take another breath to argue again, someone shouted, "Look! There on the river!"

They all looked up, and Fili scrambled back into the water when he saw the barrel. Bofur and Nori helped him, and together they dragged an exhausted Kili onto the rocky shore. "What happened?" Fili asked. "How did you get past the elves and the Orcs?"

"I had help," Kili murmured, sitting down heavily and gripping his wounded thigh.

"Help? From who?"

Kili shook his head, struggling to catch his breath. It still didn't feel entirely real, that Tauriel had come after him and helped him escape. He closed his eyes and he could feel her against him, could see her face only inches from him in the moments before she let the barrel go.

It had strangely beautiful to watch her fight the Orcs as he was swept down the river, although it also terrified him. He'd been swept around a bend and out of sight of her before she killed the final Orc, but he had no doubt she had done so. She was an incredible fighter, graceful and deadly. Watching her was mesmerizing. _She_ was mesmerizing.

He wondered when, or if, he would ever have the chance to see her again.

...

Tauriel raced for Mirkwood.

After slaying the Orcs, she had spent only a few seconds looking down the river to ensure that Kili was gone before she broke into a run. She had to hurry, had to get back as quickly as possible.

At least she had something to tell Thranduil now. She could tell him that she had killed four more Orcs. That should suffice to keep any suspicion at bay.

She nodded at the guards who were stationed at the main gates. "Tauriel," one of them said. "Legolas and the others brought back an Orc. It tried to get away but they caught it and took it to King Thranduil. They've just started questioning it."

"All right." She went inside, inwardly shaking her head at her luck. The filthy Orc might just have made things a little easier for her. She quickly made her way along the paths to Thranduil's throne. She saw the Orc on its knees, Legolas's knife at its throat. She bowed her head to Thranduil when he turned to look at her.

"Tauriel," he said, the single word somehow conveying a judgment that shivered down her spine.

"I found four Orcs lingering in the forest. They've been handled," she said.

She moved back and listened as Thranduil and Legolas spoke to and questioned the Orc. She struggled to contain her emotions. And then the Orc did something unexpected. It struck terror in her. She listened in silent, stone-faced horror as it smugly hissed that Kili had been shot with a Morgul arrow. The poison coating the arrow would indeed kill him, and she couldn't help but fear that it would be partially her fault.

She should have known. True, he had already pulled the arrow free by the time she had found him, but she should have known. She should have sensed that it hadn't been a common arrow, but something darker. But she hadn't, and now the man she'd risked everything to save was going to die anyway.

When her control slipped and Thranduil ordered her to leave, she did so with a grim determination that was reinforced when she heard him say that he didn't care if Kili died. She knew what she had to do. If her heart started beating a little too fast, she blamed it on the fact that she was about to jump off a cliff, so to speak. She had reached the point of no return on the reckless path she had started down. There was no going back now, no changing her mind.

She changed into traveling clothes, gathered her weapons, and marched to the main gates.

"Tauriel," said the same guard who had greeted her only a short time ago. "Are you leaving again so soon? Alone?"

"For now," she said. "Too many spiders, too many Orcs. I want to check again." She nodded and walked away before he could question her further. Soon she was swallowed by the thick of the forest, and the gates of Mirkwood were lost to her sight.


	4. The Mirkwood Spiders

Kili ducked and rolled under cover as elves appeared as if from nowhere to surround the other dwarves. His heart pounded. How he was going to help them alone he didn't know, but he certainly couldn't help if they caught him too. It had been pure luck that he had been able to avoid them in the first place.

He peered through a break in the brush and spotted his brother. After one of the elves took all of his weapons—or what he probably thought was all of them, because Fili always had more hidden somewhere—Fili started looking around. Kili silently shook his head. If Fili alerted them that someone in the company was missing, he would be caught for certain. Fili suddenly looked right at him. His eyes widened, and he took an instinctive step forward.

One of the elves stepped in front of Fili. It was a she-elf, Kili realized, with very long, bright hair that reminded him of the fire moon he'd seen so long ago.

"What are you looking at?" she asked Fili.

Fili stared up at her and shook his head with a shrug. She said something in elvish to the pale-haired elf who had taken Orcrist and pointed it at Thorin. Kili backed away slowly. He had to find another place to hide.

But the nightmarish maze that Mirkwood had become foiled his plans. Without warning he fell backward and tumbled down a short hill. He took a moment to catch his breath before scrambling to his feet. He looked up, expecting to see a dozen arrows pointed at him, but there was nothing. He backed up slowly, one step, two, until something at his back stopped him. A hissing sound froze his blood in his veins. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and whirled.

Tauriel's head whipped around when she heard a shout from further into the woods. The dwarf she'd blocked a moment ago shouted, "Kili!" She looked up at Legolas, who was holding an elvish blade that had been discovered in one of the dwarves' possession.

He nodded, and without a word she dashed into the cover of the forest. She glided over brush and vaulted up into the trees again so she could come at the spiders from above. It didn't take long to find the source of the commotion. A spider had a dark-haired dwarf by the leg and was dragging him backward across the brush.

Tauriel ran along a heavy branch and fired an arrow into the top of the spider's head. It screeched hideously as it died. She barely took note of the dwarf scrambling his way free of the spider's corpse. Three more spiders came crawling out of the shadows, and it took all her concentration to fight them off on her own. The dwarf called for a weapon, but she ignored him, instead firing another arrow over his head to take out a spider that had been poised to strike. The final two came after her and she switched to her daggers, slashing and stabbing as fast as she could.

She was breathing hard by the time she killed the last spider. She allowed herself a tiny smile of satisfaction before she turned to the dwarf. "You must be Kili."

"How did you know that?" he asked.

She inclined her head and raised an eyebrow. "One of your friends was looking around for something. And when you started shouting, that is the name he called out."

"Fili," he murmured under his breath. He brushed at the strands of spider webs still clinging to him and looked up at her. "Is this the part where you pretend you never saw me and we go our separate ways?"

Tauriel had to bite her tongue to stifle an involuntary chuckle. "This is the part where I take you to rejoin your friends."

"I can catch up to them later. They won't miss me," he argued.

"You'll never find your way out of the forest on your own."

"I'm more resourceful than you think."

Tauriel shook her head. She didn't want to like the dwarf. All her life she had heard tales of the animosity that existed between elves and dwarves. King Thranduil had a particular dislike for them. She had never felt it herself, but then, she had never come across many dwarves until now. This one didn't seem so bad as she'd been led to believe.

But she could not allow mixed feelings to cloud her judgment. Legolas and all the others knew she had gone after a wayward dwarf. They would all be expecting her to bring him back. There was no way she could do otherwise. She sheathed her daggers and picked up her bow. "We need to move."

"We don't have to. Just tell them I got away. They won't know."

"They will," she replied. "You clearly don't know us any better than we know you. Now move."

He glared at her, but finally started moving. Tauriel walked behind him, so she could see where he was, and so that he couldn't see her face. She didn't want him to see her sudden doubt. There was a part, just a small part, that was tempted to let him go. It was the part of her that had begun to doubt her purpose, the part that had begun to question Thranduil and his seeming determination to create an insular kingdom that had very little contact with the outside world. But now was not the time to examine her doubts. If she did not return with Kili in her charge, Legolas would know something was wrong. They had spent too many years together. He knew her too well, knew how skilled a fighter she was. It was why they led the guard together; he as prince, she as captain.

If she did not return with Kili, Legolas would simply send someone else to find him. And then he would question her and wonder what was wrong with her. This way, she told herself, at least Kili would not suffer injury at the hands of the elves. She did not want him harmed.

They trudged through the darkened, decaying forest. Tauriel tried to remember a time when it had all been green, but that was farther in the past than she had been alive. There had been a time once when the darkness had not spread so far, but she couldn't see it now, could barely remember what it had looked like. It worried her.

"Is this what you do all day?" Kili asked as they walked. "Roam this miserable forest and kill spiders? It sounds dreadfully repetitive."

"Somebody has to." In a way he was right. It seemed that of late all they did was patrol the forest and kill the wretched spiders that kept coming and coming. It had become a never-ending task, one that they could have put a stop to long ago, if only Thranduil had let them.

Kili turned and looked back at her. "You are different than the other elves, aren't you?"

She stared down at him. She was suddenly filled with a number of things she wanted to say but couldn't. Things that would indeed mark her as different, things that could get her into trouble. "You are not going to convince me to let you go," was all she said.

"You don't know that. Give me a little more time."

She again had to bite her tongue to contain a reaction. "Do you hear that, just up ahead?" she asked, and stood silently for a moment until she saw on his face that he heard what she heard. "There is no more time." They climbed a slight hill and stepped through the trees into the clearing where the other dwarves still waited, guarded by Legolas and the rest of the elves. Tauriel gestured for Kili to join the others and he did, tossing her a quick look that she didn't have time to decipher.

"Trouble?" Legolas asked.

"No. They are all dead now."

All of the dwarves now accounted for, everyone began marching through the woods. The dwarves were sullen, and Tauriel couldn't blame them. They all knew they weren't being guided toward freedom. She didn't know for certain why they were in Mirkwood to begin with, but she suspected they were trying to reach Erebor. And the thought, if true, struck a chord in her. She glanced at Kili, again walking ahead of her. To be unsure of where you belonged in the world…it was a feeling she knew, and one she despised.

The battle high had left her by the time they entered the gates, and malaise took its place. The elves would celebrate tonight, dance and revel in the starlight. Normally she would not hesitate to join in such an event, but tonight she wasn't sure. An old, closed-off part of her was in danger of cracking open again, and she didn't know if being around the other elves would help or hurt.

What she did know, she thought as she closed the door to Kili's cell and shot him a final glance before walking away, was what had caused the crack to appear in the first place.


End file.
